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“People don’t decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” - F.M. Alexander I lost a $65,000 full arch case last year because I explained the treatment perfectly. Let me say that again: I lost the case because my clinical explanation was flawless. I showed him the failing teeth. Explained the progressive bone loss. Detailed the implant protocol. Discussed material options. Outlined the timeline. Presented the investment clearly. He understood everything. Nodded at all the right moments. Asked intelligent questions. Then said he needed to think about it. I never heard from him again. Six months later, I found out he’d gone to another dentist and completed the exact treatment I’d recommended. Same procedure. Similar investment. But he said yes to them when he’d said no to me. That broke something in my brain. What did they do that I didn’t? Were they better clinicians? More persuasive? Cheaper? Then I spoke to a mutual colleague who’d referred the patient originally. They mentioned something offhand: “The other dentist showed him photos of similar cases and talked a lot about how their patients’ lives changed after treatment. Really painted a picture of the transformation.” That’s when I got it. I’d been selling dental procedures. They’d been selling identity transformation. I was focused on what we’d do to his teeth. They focused on who he’d become after treatment. And identity always wins. The Day I Finally Understood What I Was Really SellingAbout eight months ago, I had a consultation with a woman in her late fifties. Severe wear, multiple failing restorations, compromised aesthetics and function. Classic full mouth rehabilitation candidate. I started my usual spiel about the clinical findings and treatment options. She interrupted me. “Can I ask you something? What happens to people after you do this? I mean, not just their teeth—what happens to them?” I paused. Nobody had ever asked me that so directly. “Well,” I said, “they can eat comfortably again. They smile more confidently. They stop avoiding photos…” “No,” she said. “I mean, what really happens? Do they change as people?” I thought about my previous full arch cases. And suddenly I saw them differently. The executive who’d been hiding his smile in client meetings—now presenting with completely different energy. The retired teacher who’d avoided social events—now the social butterfly of her group. The tradesman who’d been embarrassed to speak up—now running his mouth on job sites with zero self-consciousness. “Yes,” I told her. “They change completely. Most of them tell me it’s like turning a page in their life. They can’t believe they waited so long.” She booked treatment that day. $58,000. Barely asked about the clinical details. Because I’d finally stopped selling dentistry and started selling transformation. What We’re Actually Doing When We Do Comprehensive TreatmentHere’s what took me embarrassingly long to understand: when someone invests $40,000, $60,000, $80,000 in dental treatment, they’re not buying teeth. They’re buying a version of themselves they’ve been wanting to become. The person who smiles in photos instead of keeping their mouth closed. The person who laughs freely instead of covering their mouth. The person who eats confidently at restaurants instead of carefully selecting soft foods. The person who speaks up in meetings instead of staying quiet to hide their teeth. That’s what they’re actually buying. The dental work is just the vehicle that gets them there. And when you present treatment as clinical procedures—even brilliant clinical procedures—you’re forcing them to mentally translate dental jargon into life transformation themselves. Most patients can’t make that translation. So they don’t buy. But when you present treatment as identity transformation that happens to involve dental procedures? They see themselves in that future identity immediately. And they want it. The Narrative Medicine Framework: Speaking Their LanguageI started studying something called “narrative medicine” after that consultation. It’s the practice of understanding and honoring patients’ stories—the way they see themselves, their values, their life context. In medicine, it’s about understanding illness narratives. In dentistry, I’ve adapted it to understand identity narratives. Because every patient has a story about who they are and who they want to be. And comprehensive dental treatment either fits into that narrative or it doesn’t. Your job isn’t to change their narrative. Your job is to position treatment as the bridge between their current identity and their desired identity. Let me show you what this looks like in practice. The Professional Identity LensI had a barrister come in for consultation. Severe wear, multiple failing teeth, compromised aesthetics. When discussing his concerns, he kept mentioning client confidence and courtroom presence. I could have presented this clinically: “We need to restore proper vertical dimension, rebuild worn dentition, establish anterior guidance…” Instead, I spoke his language: “What I’m seeing is that your current dental state is forcing you into a version of yourself that doesn’t match who you are professionally. In the courtroom, you need to command authority the moment you speak. Right now, your smile and speech patterns are subtly undermining that authority. This treatment restores the physical foundation for the professional presence you’ve built your career on.” He didn’t ask about materials or timeline. He asked when we could start. Because I’d positioned treatment within his identity narrative as a professional who commands respect. The Social Identity LensDifferent patient, different narrative. Woman in her early sixties, retired, very social. Missing multiple teeth, wearing partial dentures she hated. Her identity narrative wasn’t professional—it was social. She saw herself as the vibrant, engaged person at the centre of her friend group. But her dental situation was forcing her into a more withdrawn version of herself. “From what you’re describing, you’ve become more selective about social situations—not because you don’t want to be there, but because you’re self-conscious about your teeth. You’re the person who brings energy to gatherings, but that energy gets dampened when you’re worried about your smile or struggling with dentures while eating. This treatment removes that barrier between who you are naturally and who you’re able to be in social settings.” She teared up. “That’s exactly it. I feel like I’m hiding part of myself.” Treatment accepted before we even discussed investment. The Personal Transformation LensSometimes the identity narrative is simply about becoming the person they’ve always wanted to be. Young professional, mid-thirties, successful career but deeply insecure about his smile due to childhood dental trauma. He’d built success despite constant self-consciousness about his teeth. “You’ve accomplished everything you have while carrying this burden. Imagine what becomes possible when you’re not spending mental energy managing your self-consciousness. The version of you that smiles freely, laughs without hesitation, speaks up without second-guessing—that person has been waiting for the physical foundation to emerge.” He’d been avoiding dental work for fifteen years. Completed comprehensive treatment within six months of that conversation. Because I’d positioned it as finally becoming who he’d always wanted to be rather than fixing broken teeth. The Future Self Visualisation TechniqueThe most powerful tool I’ve developed is what I call “future pacing”—helping patients viscerally experience their future identity before treatment even begins. This isn’t abstract visualisation. It’s concrete, specific, emotionally resonant future identity creation. Here’s the framework I use: Step 1: Identify Their Constrained Current Identity “Right now, what situations or activities do you avoid or feel limited in because of your dental situation?” Listen carefully. They’ll tell you exactly what their current identity constraints are. “I don’t smile in photos.” “I avoid eating in front of people.” “I’m quiet in meetings because I’m self-conscious when I speak.” “I don’t date because I’m embarrassed about my teeth.” Step 2: Paint the Specific Future Identity Don’t describe the treatment. Describe them after treatment in specific situations they’ve mentioned avoiding. “Six months from now, you’re at your daughter’s wedding. The photographer is taking family photos. Instead of the closed-mouth smile you’ve been doing for years, you’re smiling fully, genuinely, without that moment of hesitation you usually have. You see the photos later and for the first time in decades, you actually like how you look. That version of you—the one who smiles freely at your daughter’s wedding—that’s who we’re creating the foundation for.” Watch their faces when you do this. You’ll see the emotional shift. Step 3: Connect Treatment to Identity Bridge “The dental work—the implants, the restorations, the technical aspects—those are just the tools that create the physical foundation for that version of you to emerge. We’re not fixing teeth. We’re removing the barrier between who you are now and who you’re capable of being.” Step 4: Third-Party Validation Through Similar Cases “I’ve worked with several patients in similar situations—professionals in their fifties dealing with severe wear and failing dentition. Almost universally, they tell me the same thing: ‘I wish I’d done this years ago. I didn’t realise how much mental energy I was spending managing my self-consciousness.’” This isn’t just social proof. It’s identity validation. You’re showing them that others like them made this transformation and don’t regret it. The Visual Future Identity ToolI’ve started using a specific technique that’s dramatically increased case acceptance for comprehensive treatment. I show before-and-after cases, but I select them strategically: I choose cases of patients who look similar to them in age, gender, professional presentation. Not just similar dental conditions—similar people. Why? Because when they see someone who looks like them transformed, they can visualise their own transformation much more easily than when they see random before-afters. Middle-aged professional sees middle-aged professional transformed: “That could be me.” Retired person sees retired person transformed: “That’s exactly what I want.” Young person sees young person transformed: “I could actually look like that.” The visual similarity creates an identity bridge that clinical photos alone can’t create. I keep a mental catalogue of my cases organised not just by treatment type but by patient demographic. When consulting with a 55-year-old male executive, I show him a 55-year-old male executive transformation. When consulting with a 40-year-old woman concerned about aesthetics, I show her a 40-year-old woman’s aesthetic transformation. The identity connection happens automatically. Why Identity Closes Bigger Cases Than Logic Ever WillI’ve noticed something consistent: the bigger the case, the less effective clinical logic becomes. Small cases—single crown, simple filling—logic works fine. “This tooth is broken, we need to fix it.” Done. But $50,000+ comprehensive cases? Logic actually works against you. Because when someone is considering that level of investment, they’re not doing a cost-benefit analysis of dental procedures. They’re asking a much deeper question: “Is this investment aligned with who I am and who I want to become?” If you present it logically—clinical findings, treatment options, cost breakdowns—you’re forcing them to answer that identity question themselves. And most people can’t make that connection without help. But when you present it as identity transformation that aligns with who they see themselves as or want to become? The decision becomes obvious. I had a full arch case last month. Severe perio, multiple failing teeth, significant bone loss. Clinically, the conservative approach would be aggressive perio therapy, trying to save some teeth, partial dentures for missing teeth. I presented two options: the conservative approach I just described, and full arch implant reconstruction. Logically, conservatively, technically—the perio therapy approach was “safer,” more “conservative.” But I’d learned enough about this patient to understand his identity narrative. Successful business owner, very image-conscious, hated the idea of anything removable or provisional. “Here’s what I need you to understand,” I told him. “The conservative approach sounds safer, and clinically it is less invasive right now. But here’s the reality: based on what I’m seeing, we’re buying you maybe 3-5 years before those saved teeth start failing anyway. Then you’re back here, going through additional treatment, more investment, more time in transition.” “The full arch approach feels more aggressive right now, but it’s actually the more conservative long-term choice for someone in your situation. It gives you a permanent, stable foundation that doesn’t require ongoing management. More importantly, it creates the smile and function that matches who you are professionally and personally—immediately and permanently.” He chose full arch. $75,000. Because I positioned it as the identity-aligned choice rather than just the more aggressive clinical option. The Conservative Paradox: Why the Long Way Is Actually the Short WayThis is something I’ve had to completely rewire in my own thinking. We’re taught that conservative dentistry means saving teeth, doing minimal intervention, being cautious. But conservative for whom? Conservative for what timeline? Saving a tooth that’s going to fail in three years isn’t conservative—it’s just delaying inevitable failure while the patient remains in their constrained identity state. I had this hit me hard with a case about six months ago. Patient with severe wear and multiple cracked teeth. I could have done conservative crowns, tried to save everything, patched it together. But I’d learned to think about identity timelines. This patient was about to retire. She’d been planning travel, social activities, finally enjoying life after decades of career focus. Saving those compromised teeth meant she’d be managing dental issues throughout her retirement. Appointments. Potential failures. Ongoing concern and limitation. Full mouth reconstruction meant one comprehensive treatment period, then stability and confidence for the next 15-20 years of her retirement. The “conservative” crown approach was actually the more disruptive choice for her identity narrative. The “aggressive” full mouth reconstruction was the truly conservative choice for her life timeline. She understood this immediately when I framed it that way. Treatment accepted without hesitation. Because I’d helped her see that conservative doesn’t mean minimal intervention—it means choosing the approach that’s most conservative with her life, her time, her future identity. The Identity Collapse Risk: What Happens When We Don’t Think Long-TermHere’s something most dentists don’t consider: when dental treatment fails after significant investment of money, time, and emotional energy, it doesn’t just create clinical problems. It creates identity collapse. The patient who finally got up the courage to fix their smile, invested in treatment, went through the process—then had it fail a few years later? That’s not just clinical failure. That’s “I thought I was finally becoming the confident version of myself, but I guess I was wrong.” That’s identity collapse. And it’s way more damaging than clinical failure alone. I’ve seen this with patients who came to me after failed conservative treatments elsewhere. They’re not just frustrated about the clinical failure—they’re emotionally devastated that the transformation they thought they’d achieved was temporary. “I finally thought I could smile in photos. Then this happened.” “I spent $15,000 and now I’m right back where I started.” “I don’t think I can go through this again.” That’s identity collapse. And it’s preventable through better long-term thinking at the treatment planning stage. Now when I’m planning comprehensive cases, I explicitly consider identity timeline: • How long will this treatment support their desired identity state? • What’s the risk of failure requiring retreatment during critical life periods? • Does this approach create stable, predictable foundation for their future self? The “aggressive” treatment that provides 20 years of stability is often more conservative than the “conservative” treatment that fails in 5 years. Conservative dentistry should mean conservative with the patient’s life, not just conservative with tooth structure. The Framework: Embedding Future Identity in Every ConsultationLet me give you the systematic approach I use now for comprehensive cases. Phase 1: Identity Discovery Early in consultation, I ask questions designed to understand their identity narrative: • “What prompted you to finally address this now?” • “What situations make you most aware of your dental concerns?” • “How do you imagine life would be different with this issue resolved?” • “What version of yourself have you been wanting to become?” These questions reveal their current constrained identity and desired future identity. Phase 2: Future Identity Visualisation Once I understand their identity narrative, I help them viscerally experience their future self: • Describe specific situations from their life where transformation will be felt • Use language from their own identity narrative • Paint concrete, emotional pictures of future experiences • Show visual examples of similar people transformed Phase 3: Treatment as Identity Bridge Present treatment options not as clinical procedures but as pathways to future identity: • “This approach creates the foundation for [specific identity outcome they described]” • “The timeline means you’ll have this transformation in place before [upcoming life event they mentioned]” • “This investment protects you from [identity collapse risk they’re currently facing]” Phase 4: Third-Party Identity Validation Provide social proof specifically related to identity transformation: • “Most patients tell me this treatment turned a page in their life” • “The common theme I hear is wishing they’d done it sooner” • “People similar to you in [relevant demographic] consistently say [identity transformation outcome]” Phase 5: Long-Term Identity Protection Frame treatment choice in terms of protecting future identity: • “This approach gives you stability for the next 15-20 years of [their life stage]” • “We’re choosing the option that removes dental concerns from your life permanently” • “This creates a foundation that won’t require ongoing management during [critical life period]” The Transformation Language PatternsI’ve developed specific language patterns that trigger identity-based decision making rather than logical analysis. Instead of: “This will restore your teeth.” Say: “This removes the barrier between who you are now and who you’re capable of being.” Instead of: “The success rate is 95%.” Say: “Almost everyone who does this tells me they wish they’d done it years ago.” Instead of: “This is more comprehensive treatment.” Say: “This turns a page in your life rather than just managing ongoing issues.” Instead of: “This option costs more but lasts longer.” Say: “This investment protects the version of yourself you’re becoming for the next 20 years.” Instead of: “You’ll be able to eat better and smile more.” Say: “You’ll stop spending mental energy managing self-consciousness and start living fully.” Notice how each reframe shifts from procedure-focused to identity-focused language? That shift is what changes $30,000 “I need to think about it” cases into $75,000 “When can we start?” cases. The Ethical Consideration: Identity Enhancement vs. Identity ManipulationI need to address something important: this isn’t about manipulating people into treatment they don’t need. This is about helping people who genuinely need comprehensive treatment understand what they’re actually investing in. The patients I’m describing—severe wear, failing dentition, compromised function and aesthetics—they legitimately need this treatment. The clinical indications are clear. What I’ve learned is that presenting it clinically creates unnecessary barriers to them accepting treatment they actually need. Presenting it as identity transformation aligned with their values and life narrative removes those barriers. I’m not creating need that doesn’t exist. I’m helping them see how treatment meets needs they already have. The key ethical distinction: identity-based presentation only works—and only should work—when the clinical indication genuinely supports comprehensive treatment. Using identity framing to upsell unnecessary treatment? That’s manipulation. Using identity framing to help patients accept necessary comprehensive treatment? That’s actually patient-centered care. Because the alternative—watching people continue suffering in their constrained identity because you only spoke clinical language—that’s not more ethical. It’s just more comfortable for you. The Cases That Finally Made SenseLooking back at my case acceptance over the past year, a clear pattern emerged. Cases where I focused on clinical explanation: 40-60% acceptance for comprehensive treatment. Cases where I focused on identity transformation: 85-95% acceptance. Same clinical skill. Same treatment quality. Dramatically different outcomes. The difference wasn’t what I was offering. The difference was whether I helped them see who they’d become. That $65,000 case I lost at the beginning? If I could redo that consultation now, I’d ask different questions. I’d paint pictures of his future self. I’d show him similar transformations. I’d position treatment as removing barriers to who he wanted to be. I’m confident he would have said yes. Because people don’t invest $50,000+ in dental procedures. They invest in becoming the version of themselves they’ve been wanting to become. Your job is helping them see that transformation clearly enough that the decision becomes obvious. If this shifted how you think about presenting comprehensive treatment, I’d love to hear about it. Do you recognise patients who needed treatment but couldn’t see the identity transformation? Message me on Instagram @waleedarshadd or reply to this email. These concepts change everything about case acceptance when you implement them. Waleed |
There's a fundamental difference in how top performers think about practice growth. Based on real-conversations with high-performing individuals.
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